Dan:

Have they played the World Series yet?

Congratulations to the Philadelphia Phillies on winning an utterly forgettable World Series. I think the television ratings for the series was an average of 17 people, one of whom was my brother who goes from 6 to 12 everytime somebody, somewhere, mentions Chase Utley’s name. His fantasy-baseball-spawned man-crush on Utley is so disturbing, I’m thinking of reporting him to the authorities.

At least the Devil Rays didn’t win it all. And it is kind of fitting that they lost the series to the most insignificant franchise in sports history. That isn’t sour grapes talking; the history of the Phillies backs me up on this. There’s the obvious 10,000 losses and counting to point to. There’s also their contribution — or lack there of — to baseball. I remember walking the timeline in the Baseball Hall of Fame once, and suddenly, out of nowhere, there was a mention of the Phillies in the 1950s. I said, “Whoa, where’d they come from?” Turns out they’d been around since the start of the century. They just hadn’t done anything or had any player worth a mention til then. And they wouldn’t again until 1980. It’s one thing to go 80 years without a championship. It’s a whole other exercise in insignificance to go that long without even making a ripple in the baseball world. To be fair, though, the Phillies for the most part have at least been worth keeping an eye on for the bulk of the last three decades.

Of course, this all explains clearly why nobody watched this Series. Imagine the LA Clippers against the Atlanta Hawks in the NBA Finals, or the Houston Texans taking on the Atlanta Falcons in the Super Bowl. (Actually, insert any Atlanta franchise in discussions about fans not paying attention to a series.) Thankfully, this series only went five games. And it’s the only series I can ever remember not watching more than three innings of.

But now its on to the exciting Hot Stove season. I’m liking what I hear about the Sox chasing Texeira. In my previous post I said I hoped they would go after him, but wasn’t sure that they would. Obviously, Theo looks to see what my baseball genius mind has going on. I’m also liking that they are talking about going after Saltalmacchia for a catcher. They should do this regardless of whether they bring back Varitek or not, as they need to begin grooming his successor even if they have Tek for another two years. I can’t believe anyone will pay Tek the numbers Scott Boras is throwing out. But you never know. There’s a lot of stupid people in baseball with a lot of stupid money. (See: Angels sign Gary Matthews Jr. and see Yankees sign Jorge Posada to big money, mult-year deal . . . stuuuupid.)